With all of the what-to-do-with-relatives/friends/unprepared neighbors when-TSHTF threads we've seen recently here at [the Misc.Survivalism newsgroup] I thought I would offer my recent experience on a camping trip as a example of what this kind of situation will bring.

Some co-workers and friends of mine wanted to go camping last weekend. I'm always up for going to the field to test my gear and generally get into character so I said that I was in. Now, with one exception, these people are NOT preparedness-minded at all; I knew this going in, but I quickly realized how little I really knew about the mindset of the unprepared. We were only going out for one night so how bad could it be?

First off, they all looked to me to find a spot to camp and to generally organize the trip. OK, no problem. I was recon in the military and I can read a topo map, so I accepted the responsibility for this.

I chose a spot on the map that was remote but not too scary. I drove up to the area a couple of weeks before the trip to get an eyeball on the terrain and overall conditions and to plan out our route and estimate gas consumption.

I then asked two other guys who had trucks to drive so we could spread out the bodies and the gear. I then broke down the group into buddy teams in each vehicle based on where people lived and who was bringing what. I asked if any of them had a CB radio. Only one did but he didn't have a proper antenna. I asked him to get an antenna so we could have commo between his vehicle and mine.

Now, for TWO WEEKS before we left I reminded each of them to bring food, water, a light source, sleeping bags and anything else they thought they might need. "Remember", I said, "this is the woods we're going to: There are no phones to order pizza with or Kwiky Marts out there". I also warned them that rain was possible and to plan accordingly. I asked each of them to let me know if they were short of any kind of gear so I could cover any shortages. I covered all of the bases that I thought newbies should know without being too motherly.

I asked everyone to rendezvous at a centrally-located place so we could square everything away and I could brief the drivers on our route and planned stops. Most showed up late which is a pet peeve of mine but no biggie. Eventually everybody showed up. They all had gassed up their trucks before which frankly surprised me.

The guy who was supposed to buy a CB antenna got one but he didn't plug it in and try it out beforehand so he found out that it wouldn't work past ten feet; so much for commo. One driver wussed-out at the last minute but let another guy drive his vehicle. This was good but it turns out that the truck wasn't a 4x4 after all. OK. I asked for 4x4s specifically but it's not the end of the world -- just a failure to communicate. I briefed the drivers on where we were going to stop, get fuel, etc. I thought of Roger's Rangers first rule: "Don't forget nothin"! and I asked if anyone needed to stop for anything and they all said no. Ok, then. Let's roll.

The drive up was uneventful. Everyone stuck to the plan and we all met up where we were supposed to. We gassed up at the last big town before things got "wildrenessy." I reminded them all to get anything that they needed now cuz' this was the last bastion of civilization before we hit the woods. A couple of them bought some odds and ends and then we were off. I asked the guy driving his friend's rig if he had checked the oil. He said that he didn't know how. I took a deep breath and showed him.

I led them to the area where we left the pavement for the forest roads. I stopped and briefed them again on where we were going and showed them on the map where significant terrain might present a problem. They nodded but I could see that this was over their heads. They didn't say it but I could tell that they were getting annoyed with my procedures. I was waiting for one of them to whine, "Are we there yet?" Luckily, none did.

I chose a spot that the non-4x4 could negotiate and we pitched camp. The spot was piss-poor from a tactical point of view but I wasn't about to try to explain that to this group. I knew that we would have a full moon that night and we'd at least be able to see in all directions for at least 200 meters, so anyone going off to take a whiz at night wouldn't get lost.

After checking all of the vehicles for fluid leaks or hissing tires I broke out my shovel and proceeded to dig a fire pit. I asked the others to collect firewood and stones for a fire ring. We got things relatively squared away in camp and then four of them decided to go exploring. I told them to not wander off too far without a compass and to watch the sky in case of rain. I could tell that they were getting tired of me "giving orders" and they bolted.

I did a foot recon of the area out to about 500 meters around the camp. I identified the animal droppings that I found; no predators, just prey. I also looked for any sign of recent human activity. Finding none I gathered some more wood and proceeded back to camp where I started organizing my gear.

About and hour and a half passed and no sign of the others. Another guy that stayed back at camp decided to go off on his own. I told him to be careful and left it at that. About an hour later they all came back together looking somewhat the worse for wear. Apparently, the first group got hopelessly lost and wandered in a big circle around our camp and just happened to run into the last guy on his way through the woods. I held my tongue.

Two of them were wearing shorts and had minor wounds on their legs from stumbling over branches. One guy had a nasty gash that was bleeding pretty freely. He didn't take a first aid kit so he stuck a leaf to the wound to slow the blood. He didn't have any wound cleanser in his kit, just some Band-Aids so I told him to use my kit. I wondered what they would have done if one of them was seriously hurt but I kept my mouth shut.

While the others sacked out for a midday nap one of them asked me if I brought any toilet paper. My eyes probably bugged out of my head like a cartoon character when he asked that. I couldn't believe that anyone would go camping without bringing the "Rolled Gold". Shaking my head, I gave the guy MY TP and MY shovel and asked him to kindly go at least 200 yards downwind to do his business. I also asked him not to get crap on my shovel.

I then discovered that another guy had sacked out in my truck because his was in the sun and he didn't want to move it. OK, no big deal. I didn't come to the field to sleep anyway. I let them know that I was going on a hike myself and donned my full web gear with a first aid kit, canteen, knife and pistol. I took out my compass and got my bearings. They all thought my get-up was pretty funny and I endured the "commando" and "Rambo" jibes and set off. I was gone for about an hour. I just hoped they wouldn't set my truck on fire while I was gone.

When I got back they were all asleep but one (at least one was awake). He was the guy in my truck. He then let me know that he was short of water having brought only two one-quart bottles from the store. I mildly lectured him on the daily water requirements for humans and also reminded him that he was running around sweating, etc., as one is wont to do in the woods, and was therefore increasing the need for water. I broke out my six gallon can that I keep in the truck at all times and let him refill his bottles. I became seriously worried about water at that point since I didn't know who else had misjudged their water needs. I brought my water filter and plenty of Aqua-tabs as well as several full canteens for myself, but I found no sign of water in the area and the map showed the nearest source as being over six miles away. If the rest of these guys were short my reserves would soon be dry.

The day waned and as the sun began to set the sleepyheads began to get up. I started making my chow about an hour before sunset so I could see what I was doing. This prompted a few of the others to do likewise. I brought an MRE as did the other semi-prepared fellow. This was quite a shock to the others who had never seen "astronaut food" before. They were also shocked when I broke out my Sierra stove. They truly thought I was whacked, but they were surprised to see how quickly I was fed and watered with little or no fuss.

I had prepared the fire pit hours before with tinder and kindling so that all that was required was a match... What? No one brought any matches? Reeling from shock I produced one of several stocks of matches I had throughout my kit and lit the fire and added wood until a nice blaze was going. I asked one guy what he brought for eats and he said that he bought a Subway sand which in town and stuck it in another guy's cooler. That was all that he brought. Ok, maybe he's on a diet, I thought. All I can say is I hope we don't get stranded out here.

The circus continued: One fellow wanted to use my tinfoil; another wanted a cup; another wanted salt; another wanted a plate; another wanted my gloves to pull his can off the fire... This went on and on.

After dinner TWO OTHER guys asked for MY toilet paper. By now I was really disgusted and unashamedly showing it as I passed out my gear. I was really worried that someone was going to ask me to come and wipe for them, too.

As night fell the temperature began to fall. They at least remembered to bring jackets or extra shirts, but the guys wearing shorts didn't bring any long pants. Aside from being chilled, the bugs were now feasting upon their naked flesh. I considered letting them suffer but thought better of it and broke out my insect repellant.

As each fellow wandered back and forth from the fire to their respective tents or vehicles I noticed that some didn't have any flashlights and the others had these ridiculous K-Mart special flashlights that were pretty pathetic. Needless to say my MagLight became very popular.

Now the woods started making scary sounds as the night critters began to stir. I knew what most of the sounds were but I noticed more than one of my companions eyeing my sidearm. They were now glad that they brought "Rambo" along.

About 11PM the moon rose and lit up the surrounding forest. One fellow proposed that we hike down to the cliffs and look out over the valley below. They weren't going without me since I was the "gun guy" and the critters were still stirring. They all shuffled around impatiently while I donned my BDU tunic and my boonie hat. I got out my shotgun (this is mountain lion country) and my maglight and compass. They thought I was overdoing it for a mere half-mile hike but I didn't think telling them about "Murphy's Law" would make an impression on this bunch.

They started out with all flashlights blazing stumbling along through the forest. I stopped them and asked where they were heading. "Down to the cliff." they said, wondering what my point was. "Well, it's that-a-way", I said while motioning at about a 60 degree angle from where they were heading. "Oh", was the only reply I got.

I told them to turn off those damned flashlights and let their eyes adjust to the moonlight. They were all amazed that after a few minutes they could see all around in the dark much better than with their flashlights once their night vision kicked in. I took point and led them down to the ridge making sure I pointed out pitfalls and loose rocks. I stopped every once in awhile to point out landmarks and give general directions back to camp in case we got separated. I chose a route contrary to my training across wide open spaces that were well lit by moonlight so no one would twist an ankle or get speared in the face by a sharp branch.

They made the Devil's own racket stumbling through the brush and talking and giggling but I let it go on since I wanted to scare off any critters that might be in our path. We made it to the ridge with nothing more than a couple of near spills over the rocks that were strewn over the area.

They talked and joked and watched the stars while I quietly sat and watched and listened. One wise guy saw that I was being vigilant so he threw a rock into the brush to see what I'd do. They were rewarded by my quick reaction which they got a great kick out of. I took it in stride, though I don't like monkey-business when guns are involved.

After a while I led them back to camp where the one guy we left to watch the camp had the fire blazing. It seems that the night critters were moving all around his position while we were gone. I went out one more time to be sure nothing was really out there and then came back.

They all turned in while I stayed up to be sure the fire died out properly then I turned in as well. The next morning they had little or nothing to eat while me and the other semi-prepared guy made up a hot breakfast on our Sierra stoves. They all were looking pretty ragged miserable but I was all out of patience and pity for them. One guy asked for my TP and shovel again and went off to take care of business.

They all wanted to leave since they were dirty and tired and hungry so I packed up my gear and led them home. As we left all I could think of was the line from Full Metal Jacket where the Marine DI is cussing out the new recruits, "You are nothing but disorganized pieces of amphibian shit"! What a sobering experience.

If five otherwise-intelligent guys, with two weeks notice, couldn't prepare for one night out in the woods what is going to happen to them when some disaster hits SUDDENLY and they have to fend for themselves for days or even weeks? What will they do when they find out that in addition to bugs, sticks and stones and animals there are other people out there who are looking to do them bodily harm for one reason or another?

I am not trying to belittle these guys or make myself sound like Daniel Boone; I'm not. I am just amazed at how little the "average Joe" thinks about his own welfare when put in a situation where the usual amenities are not present.

I do not consider myself to be an expert at any of this but I know that if these same guys found themselves in a real disaster or other crisis they would be utterly helpless where I would at least have some options.

If a grown man cannot remember to bring toilet paper or matches with him when he goes camping what is he going to do when there is no food, water or electricity in his house and it's the middle of winter? He and his family are going to be DESPERATELY looking for help.

When they see that Uncle Sugar isn't backing up the relief van to their door and the power company and Domino's pizza isn't answering the phone they are going to come looking for people like me and those that frequent this newsgroup to pull their fat ass out of the fire and compensate for their shortsightedness.

After just a few short hours of giving away my stuff to friends of mine who should have known better I was pretty irritated. If that trip had been anything other than a casual overnight camp out I would have probably blown my stack. We are all friends, but I was still shocked at how they could so casually expect me to just shell out like it was my duty to take care of them. No one offered to replace any of the stuff they used or even thanked me for letting them use my stuff.

It may seem to you that I hang around with the world's worst friends but I see them just as average people. People take their well being for granted. They also take for granted that someone like me will be there to give them what they need. Had I refused to share my toilet paper or other goods on this trip things would have turned hostile in a hurry and no one would have had any fun. This was just a camping trip so I just shelled out and chalked it up as real-world experience but it really got me thinking.

Frankly, it scared the hell out of me.



Afterword: Preparedness is a state of mind. When we are making our preparations, we often forget to consider having extra quantities in case we need to take care of others. It's not unreasonable to expect family members and close, and not-so-close friends to "stop by" in during a crisis. Especially if there is a lead time before the event occurs (hurricane, blizzard, etc.). Try to take this into account when you make or review your preparations. -ed.

Copyright 1998 Backwoods Home Magazine

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